Another Christmas Another Year

Yes it’s this time again. The Holidays. This year has been much better than previous years except I didn’t get to go on my holiday, I lost £1000+ because the shitty insurance company refuses to pay out and I still don’t have anyone. I have been out much more though, I started going to the gym and I started to go to the cinema weekly so that’s a start. Hopefully next year will be even better.

Christmas always makes me sad though because it always reminds me how lonely I am and how unimportant I am to people. Now I’m used to not getting anything for my birthday and Christmas, I always expect nothing. Hey at least I can’t get disappointed. I did get an early Christmas present from an amazing friend and some chocolates from another friend. I loved those presents. ❤ Thank you again you two.

I’ve spent so much money on people this Christmas, well mainly on one person and a coupel of others. 🙂 I don’t buy presents expecting anything in return because they’re happiness is what’s important to me. Also you can’t get hurt if you don’t expect anything. Anyway I’m getting off track, I hope everyone enjoyed what I got them and I’m sorry I couldn’t get them anything more.

I know I won’t be getting anything for my birthday and I’m not saying this looking for pity, I’m just being honest. I don’t feel right when people offer to get me something after reading I won’t be getting anything. Sure it will make me sad but once that day is gone I will be happy again.

The girl I really like, I still have no idea where I stand with her and it’s very complicated. That’s where most of money has gone. It’s not a small amount either. She didn’t ask for anything but I have nothing else to offer to her. I’m expecting the worse to happen which will happen eventually, it’s only a matter of time because I still can’t see why anyone would want to be with me. I know I have to love myself before anyone can love me but I just can’t. There’s nothing to love. She is really amazing and lovely and I think she’s far too kind to hurt me and that’s why she hasn’t said anything.

Anyway I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and I hope you all have a great year.

Thanks for reading

love, snowy

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